Thinking about... my relationship status

‘No significant learning can occur without a significant relationship’ (James Comer)

Image from Huffingtonpost.com

Last year, during a conversation on planning lessons, a colleague suggested that teachers should consider how they would work on their ‘relationship status’. The phrase has become increasingly associated with Facebook and therefore it is not usually a consideration within education (for teachers anyway!). However, investing time on your ‘relationship status’ with a class can be extremely valuable.

Making real effort to get to know the pupils in your classes is by no means innovative, but in an increasingly demanding profession it is something that is often neglected. Improving relationships with the pupils we teach can have a positive and long-lasting impact on both their academic and social development.

Image from Huffingtonpost.com

Rita Pierson, in her TED talk; Every Kid Needs a Champion, emphasises that ‘kids don’t learn from people they don’t like’ and encourages all teachers to connect with their pupils on a real, human and personal level. It is an inspiring talk and it is something that I feel all teachers should watch at least once a year.

I like to think that I am reasonably up to date on popular educational literate, but until my previous Head passed me a copy, I hadn’t heard of ‘The Magic-Weaving Business’ written by Sir John Jones. Like Rita Pierson, Sir John Jones recognises how powerful an impact teachers have on young people, both good and bad. 

The good news is schooling and teachers make the difference…the bad news is schooling and teachers make the difference’ (The Magic-Weaving Business)

Jones discusses his frustration at teachers who slowly lose their passion and purpose but the book goes beyond the moral justification. He provides practical ways forward; he shares the golden nuggets that he has collected from the teachers who light up classrooms. The book examines the qualities of the teachers that make a positive difference to young peoples’ lives. Jones describes these teachers as the ‘magic-weavers’. As a teacher it is my career ambition to be a magic-weaver in the eyes of my staff and pupils; and as a school leader, I need to create the conditions so that my staff can become magic-weavers. After all, the core of quality schooling does not come from a policy but from the crucial relationship between teacher and pupil.

Pupils wont remember what you said or the resources you used but they will remember how you made them feel. I shared an article, with my staff, from the Guardian on a pupils’ perception of what makes a perfect teacher and it was concluded that they’re the ones who never give up on pupils and have taught them to never give up on themselves.

Magic weavers do not possess one key feature but a powerful synchronicity in what they believe, say and do. Our beliefs dictate what we do and what we say and therefore this is a powerful combination that can be used to explain how we behave when no one else is watching.

Jones identifies ten generic principles for what magic-weavers believe, say and do. I won’t cover all 30 in this blog, but I will outline one from each area to give you a flavour of what characterises magic-weavers.

Magic-weavers believe that those who need our support the most will probably deserve it the least. As teachers, we have all taught pupils who display challenging behaviour and it is very easy to take that personally. We need our teachers to avoid the temptation of condemning these pupils to failure. This reminds me of the quote directed at teachers; ‘even on your worst day, you are still some child’s best hope’. The most effective teachers realise this and despite how challenging it might feel, they believe and operate as if there is no child that they cannot reach and teach.

Magic-weavers turn up. They go above and beyond. They provide opportunities outside of the classroom. Nothing shows that you care about your pupils more than going to see them perform. I have often given up my weekends to watch pupils in activities outside of school, and although it might take up part of your weekend after a long week in school, the pupil will never forget the effort that you made for them.  

Magic-weavers say things like ‘what I like about you is….’ and ‘that is not like you’; these type of phrases are small, and may appear to be inconsequential tweaks but the power they have in forming a positive script, cannot be denied. If they become part of our daily routines we will be communicating that we believe in our pupils, have high expectations of them and it will help to shape a positive self-worth.

It is essential that we emphasise to our teachers the importance of developing relationships with pupils; the quality and effectiveness of our schools rely on it. The magic-weaving principles will be made visible to our staff; we will devote time to them at the start of the academic year and we will display them in our staff room and in our teachers’ planners. By providing explicit reminders to our staff, we hope the magic-weaving principles will become part of their daily routines, become habitual and create a culture where all pupils succeed simply because our teachers really care. 

I’m sure the above quote resonates with teachers but in the interests of challenging us to aspire to be magic-weavers, consider it as; ‘you have never really been a teacher until you have done something for a pupil who can never repay you’. After all: ‘One hundred years from now, it will not matter what kind of house we lived in, what kind of car we drove, or what our bank account balance was. But the world may be different because we made a difference in the life of a child.’ (The Magic-Weaving Business)

Considering the breadth of fantastic books that exist on education today, I am going to make a bold statement: if I could give one book, and one book only, to the staff in my school The Magic-Weaving Business would be it.